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The Rings of a Tree: Why Relationships are Always a Work in Progress

One of my greatest lessons in relationship has been the acceptance that knowing someone, truly knowing someone, is a work in progress. A willingness to keep knowing my partner is the single most important element in our relationship.

I met my husband when I was 14, I am now 52 and most people would conclude that if anyone knows him.... It would be me. We have known each other in our teens, twenties, thirties, forties, and now our fifties. Yes, its safe to say that we know a lot about each other but let’s be realistic, neither of us are the same people that we were in high school, our twenties, thirties, or forties. Our bodies have changed, our energy levels have changed, our sexual expression has changed, our spiritual focus has changed, our dreams and hopes for the future have changed as well. We are a work in progress. We are a live document.

It is easy to fall back into the safety of what we know about our partners, what we are sure of.... but the magic lies in what we don’t know and our willingness to learn about them right here, right now in the present.

Much like the annual growth rings of a tree, its easy to look back and see what the particular imprint of any given year has been on a tree. The rings are a document of what the tree has weathered and endured during that specific growth season. Rings close together indicate drought and stress, rings far apart indicate adequate moisture. Interruption of the tree rings indicate disease, fire, or insect infestation. We as humans are much the same.

What we don’t know is how our current situation our stress levels, our happiness, our physicality will affect our growth. We don’t know it about ourselves and we certainly don’t know it about our partners.

Staying open, honest and curious about who we are in relationship with actually make It a REAL-ATIONSHIP. Curiosity, acceptance and openness are the key to stability and growth.

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